Age

Since turning 30, I feel obsessed with age.  It seems my biological clock is just ticking away while my life seems to be going backward.  Every time I look into the mirror it seems all I am looking for are winkles and changes (for the worse).  I am never going to be younger than I am today, yet I just keep thinking about my younger years wondering how they just flashed before my eyes.  How everything you hear when you are younger from older people is positively true.  Life just goes by, and you have no control.  (Control is a topic for another day).  I remember a Snapple cap I once got that said “aging is a privilege denied to many” and it has stuck with me to this day, yet worries still get the better of me.  I just want to be loved and thought I was beautiful for my one and I want to experience being pregnant and having a child.  I can see it perfectly.  I just have to know it is coming and relax into life and figure out ways to slow it down so I can saver the privilege of growing older.